“Congratulations and condolences.”
This is a real message a peer sent when I became CEO of BarkleyOKRP in May 2025. And he wasn’t alone in his sentiment.
It seems many regarded this career-defining achievement as the corporate equivalent of buying a boat: Enjoy that first day; the rest will be rough.
My future was to be filled with bigger decisions, harder calls, and problems aplenty. And now I was a team of one. My office was an island, miles from help.
As they say, it’s lonely at the top.
Those at the apex agreed. Tim Cook of Apple called being CEO “a lonely job.” Airbnb’s Brian Chesky described leadership as climbing a mountain where “the higher you get to the peak, the fewer people there are with you.”
Isolation, one could reasonably conclude, is the sign of a job well done. And those who can’t do it all themselves shouldn’t be doing it at all.
And at first, I bought it.
I don’t anymore.
This year, I conducted an experiment. I sat down with seven of advertising’s most respected leaders for a podcast series, Tell Me Everything. The topics spanned creativity, AI, and agency growth. The purpose was to inspire industry executives. Or so it seemed.
I had a mic and an ulterior motive: connect with women in my position and surreptitiously mine for nuggets of wisdom. Pretty sneaky. And pretty genius, because every episode became a case study in leadership. And every conversation revealed a surprising fact. No one was actually doing it alone.
Their styles differed. One had a personal board of directors. One enlisted executive coaches. Others built entire organizations around women supporting women. But all consistently had people they could look to, lean on, and learn from. All surrounded themselves with those who could challenge assumptions, offer different perspectives, and relay hard truths.
Guess they missed the loneliness memo.
Maybe we should do the same. Maybe “it’s lonely at the top” isn’t an age-old truism, but the same old mistake we continue to make. What we expect we tolerate, and what we tolerate we perpetuate. So, instead of telling new leaders to expect isolation, we should be telling them to do something about it.
I started these conversations hoping to find the answers. Now I’m comfortable admitting I’m never going to have them all. I will always, however, have seven extraordinary women to whom I can go for advice, ideas, or just relief in knowing what I’m feeling has been felt before.
My own team is living by this ethos as well. Leadership at BarkleyOKRP operates shoulder to shoulder. Questions are welcome. Input is valued. And wins are celebrated together.
Attempting to bring balance to the daily grind, I created an email series, Good News, where anyone can submit good things happening around the agency. Turns out sharing in success is another great way to avoid isolation.
I’m moving forward with a circle of confidants and a culture of collaboration. And I’m moving on from the conventional “wisdom.”
New CEOs, I counsel you to do the same.
Introduce yourself to the leaders you respect. Build relationships with people who understand the weight of your role. Surround yourself with smart minds like it’s your job. Remember competitors are just friends you haven’t met yet.
And when the time comes, and you’re faced with bigger decisions, harder calls, and problems aplenty, tap into your vault.
When I became CEO, I was told to expect loneliness.
Two years in, I encourage the opposite.
Find your people.
I’m not saying you have to start a podcast to do it. It is an option, though.