When you have work life balance and fulfillment, you’re set up not only for success, but also for happiness. The big questions though, are about how you can find the best approach to work and life based on where you are in your journey, based on what’s unique about you, and based on what you find most important.
The work-life mix is critically important. In fact, a survey of 26,000 people in five countries by Randstad found that for 85%, work-life balance was the most important element that people were looking for in both current and future jobs—a critical feature for their satisfaction. Importantly, this is the first time in the survey’s 22-year history that work-life balance was a higher priority than pay (79%).
But work-life balance is hard to achieve for many. According to the American Psychological Association, 33% of workers report they don’t have adequate flexibility to balance their personal and work lives. In addition, three out of five workers are struggling with burnout, according to a survey by AFLAC. Millennials report the highest levels of burnout, and the stress for all generations is primarily based on heavy workloads and long hours at work.
The bottom line is that creating a plan to gain fulfillment from work and life is a very (very, very) good idea. But unfortunately, there are no quick fixes or standard solutions for perfect work or life. Instead, everyone’s approaches will be different and will evolve over time. Personalizing your own strategies for success and happiness is possible with these key considerations.
KNOW YOUR EXPECTATIONS
One of the first ways to personalize your plans for work and life is to get real about your expectations. Achieving true work-life balance is a myth. Instead, you’ll have ups and downs and ebbs and flows through stages and seasons of life. If you have young children and a full-time job, you’ll be especially busy. If you’re building your career and caring for elders, you’ll be facing tons of demands. And if you’re an empty nester, you’ll face new challenges as well.
If you believe you should be perfectly balanced all the time, you’ll set yourself up to fail. Instead, realize there will be busy (or exhausting) times and there will be easier times. Focus on managing and adjusting your choices, your time, and your boundaries throughout life’s stages, knowing regular adaptation is constructive and effective.
As you’re setting your expectations, also think big about not only work and family, but also your volunteer and community efforts, time with friends, and time for yourself. When you’re happy at work, you’ll tend to feel happier at home. But the opposite is also true. When you’re happier outside of work, you’ll perceive greater happiness within work, according to research published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior.
Personalize your work-life plan by setting realistic expectations for the demands you’ll face and thinking broadly about all the elements of work and life that will contribute to your experience.
KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS
Another way to personalize your plan for work and life is to play to your strengths. When you’re doing work that you enjoy, you’ll be much happier. Of course, there will always be elements of a job you don’t love, and most people must work to pay the bills and can’t just quit if they don’t feel fully blissful every day. But no matter what you do, you’ll benefit when you lean into your strengths.
Identify what you’re especially and uniquely good at. You can even consider activities you loved to do as a child since these can be windows into your natural gifts. Perhaps you work in customer service and you’re especially good at empathizing with people and talking them down when they’re upset. Or perhaps you work in accounting, and you have a unique gift for seeing details and identifying discrepancies. No matter what you do, bring your best and remind yourself about what you do really well, and how your work matters to your customers and coworkers.
Personalize your work-life plan by taking inventory of your strengths, finding work that taps into them, and validating your own value no matter what you do.
KNOW YOUR SOURCES OF FULFILLMENT
Too often we’re in a hurry so we go through the motions of our days or our weeks. But pay attention to what brings you joy and how you most enjoy spending your time.
It’s a little-known fact that when you spend time on things that you enjoy, you’ll actually perceive you have more time because you’re energized by the activity.
Manage your commitments based on what pays you back most. Perhaps you don’t enjoy the work of a school committee as much as you enjoy volunteering in a classroom and having contact with your child and their classmates (think: kids not committees). Or perhaps you love spending time in the hands-on work of a community garden, rather than on the board of your local museum. Despite long hours, you may relish the opportunity to participate on the new innovation team at work.
Also consider adding or subtracting activities based on your season of life. If you’re building your career, joining the advisory council for the local charity is a great way to network. But when you’re running carpool with three children and supporting all their activities, it’s a great time to decline additional invitations for extra project work at your job. Know your limits and boundaries and don’t be afraid to manage to them.
Personalize your work-life plan by determining what feels most rewarding for you and making choices for how you spend your time based on the right mix. Often, work-life gurus recommend saying no as often as you can. A better approach is to be intentional, saying yes to things that are rewarding or rejuvenating and saying no (when you can) to the activities that are less energizing.
KNOW YOUR PEOPLE
Another key to a great experience of work and life is to surround yourself with people you can rely on. Choose to spend time with those who encourage you, support you, and help you. Invest in the friends whom you trust and who need your help as well.
Be ruthless with your time while you’re gentle with people, turning them down tactfully or being understanding when they are requesting your time. But choose to invest less in the relationships that are minimally rewarding or that sap you. Giving back and focusing on others is correlated with happiness, but you’ll want to be intentional about avoiding people (as much as you can) who may be negative or who fail to reciprocate in terms of their time and investment in you.
Personalize your work-life plan by making connections and prioritizing time with people who are most important to you.
CULTIVATE GRATITUDE
And finally, no matter what stage of life you’re in, one of the best ways to increase your fulfillment is to emphasize gratitude. Gratitude works because it focuses you on what you have, rather than what you’re lacking. The relationship between gratitude and happiness is well-established by various studies.
Emphasize gratitude and think consciously about what you appreciate. Beyond things, focus on experiences, capabilities, family, and friends. Robert Brault’s advice is helpful: “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
Gratitude fosters positive experiences even as you face significant demands, and linguistic determinism helps, too. Essentially, how you talk to yourself affects how you think and feel about them. When you consider that you get to pick up the kids from school, it can feel more positive than if you have to pick them up. Or if you invest time in something, it can feel more rewarding than if you spend time in the same pursuit.
Personalize your work-life plan by being grateful and by managing your language, thoughts, and feelings about all the challenges you face.
Ultimately, the best work-life fulfillment comes from your own mix of how you spend your time and how you perceive the value of both your contributions and rewards. And over time, you’ll adjust and adapt as demands shift, life evolves, and as you grow and develop.